I so often feel sorry for myself, asking why everything had to happen. I do know, things happen for a reason and life hands everyone their own deck of cards. I so often get in this "pity party", then I think about what Mark has to go through, and I begin to realize how selfish I can be at times. As I have encountered friends, strangers, and even family I find myself talking about dialysis. I can explain it all I want, but until you are in that situation I will never really know what it is like for Mark.
There are moments when Mark is comfortable sharing about dialysis, but most times he doesn't like to talk about it. I know I only have to be there when he does want to talk or need a shoulder to cry on. He has made comments about how he looks around the dialysis center, and he is the youngest guy sitting in the chair. It breaks my heart a million times over. He talks about how his hand goes numb or tingles during the day because they have hit a nerve so many times while they were sticking him. He has told me that he feels tired after doing dialysis and just wants to relax.
With all this in mind, Mark has started to open up about the process. He even did his own video, which I will share at a later time about dialysis. The other day in the car Mark began to cry just talking about how the transplant surgery will be his first surgery--and it is a scary thought.
I want to leave with a couple videos. Hopefully, it will shed some light on what Mark is going through at dialysis. It is real, it is what Mark goes through 3 times a week. It is what I do not wish upon anyone. It is what makes me love Mark even that much more, because he is so strong.
No comments:
Post a Comment