Well, after attempting to start a blog a few months ago, erasing the entries, I am once again trying this again. I have decided to use this hopefully as a place to share my thoughts and feelings as Mark and I go through our journey called life.
So you're probably thinking why did I erase my entries before...why didn't i share them. Well, at the time it was pretty difficult to share, and was more of just a way to vent. I am not the type of person to share my "sob" story to people, and I don't want pity from anyone. I would rather stay strong. I have realized though that this may be a way to help me though all of this.
It was just a few months ago that I was absolutly worried about Mark's health. Little did I know, that his body was fighting for everything. I look back on how his health was, and I am so thankful that he went into the hospital that day when he was experiencing chest pains. It is only human to ask the question "what if", but I know that going into the hospital that day saved Mark's life. Everytime I think about it, I still completely lose it.
So dialysis has begun. While it has brought my Mark back, it has not come without its own obstacles. Last week, his vein blew. Mark said he was in such pain, and was so scared. I hate not being able to be there with him at every single moment. He had a small procedure done yesterday to hopefully clear his vein and allow for the dialysis to run smoothly. As Mark goes through all of this, I always ask why him? why us?
All I know, is that my husband, my love, my everything is the strongest person I have ever known. I love him with every part of my soul.
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